Picture is of the author writing and sharing her voice. Photo taken by Teagan Franz
I asked my husband recently, what is it about me that people look at me and say, I need to make sure you feel small. Your voice must not be heard. You are too much of this, or not enough of that.
This type of treatment by others almost put me in the grave on more than one occasion when I almost took my own life. I struggled for a very long time with seeing any kind of value or worth in me. Then I realized their treatment of me is not about me at all. Have you heard that before? I am sure many of you have.
But it is true. Their negative, hurtful treatment of me isn’t about me at all, and if this happens to you, it isn’t about you.
They see something in me that for some reason highlights something about them that they don’t want to see. Or they are choosing to see something in me that just isn’t true because they have chosen not to get to know the real me and are happy and content resting in their own lies that they tell themselves.
It took me a long time to stand up and proclaim that I have something to say. I went almost the entirety of my life before realizing and truly knowing this basic fact.
I am worth more than precious silver and gold.
And so are you.
I matter!
And so do you.
Why? Because we were born. Because we are.
I realized that what I have to say matters because how could all that life has thrown at me not be used for good. Sharing these things, speaking the words I am meant to say, is what I was created for. And if others can’t see this or see my heart in this. If others can’t look past their own bias filters of who they think I should be to see who I really am, well, I can’t change that. And that is okay. That must be okay. Even and especially when it hurts.
I am learning to stand unshakable in my truth. And I know this is not understood by some because they haven’t learned what that really means yet. But that is their journey, not mine. Just like my journey is not theirs.
No matter how some may want me to stop sharing my words, speaking my voice, I won’t stop being who I am meant to be. Because that goes against who I am.
Sue Monk Kidd said it best when she wrote, “Bless the largeness inside me, no matter how I fear it. Bless my pens and my inks. Bless the words I write; may they be beautiful in your sight. May they be visible to eyes not yet born. When I am dust sing these words over my bones, she was a voice!”
That is me.
So, I will send them love and light and let it go. I will stand tall, while they try to make me small. I will speak louder when they try to silence my voice. And I will be who I am and love who I am when they try and tell me I am too much this, or not enough that. And I will do it again and again not for them, but for me. Because I know the truth about me even if they fail to see it.
I will stand unshakable in my truth because I know my worth. I do have a voice.
And so do you!
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