Let’s chat a minute about the Mom guilt! Boy is this something that plagues me, often! And, I think I may not be alone in this. We all experience it at some point as mothers. Right? Just me?
Did I cause damage to my baby girl’s kidneys by taking the anti-nauseous medicine when I was pregnant with the twins?
Did I cause damage to my baby girl’s kidneys by taking the anti-nauseous medicine when I was pregnant with the twins? This has been a big one for me. Friends, I was so incredibly ill when I was pregnant with the twins. I couldn’t even get out of bed without getting sick. My husband traveled a lot for work. We lived in a new state with no friends or family. Our oldest child had school and after school activities. And of course, there was our two-year-old that I had to care for.
I tried all the home remedy tricks. The peppermint teas, the candies, the ginger, all of it. I exhausted every avenue, and nothing worked. The peppermint tea even came back up. How is that for a visual?
After watching our two-year-old just hang out on my bed, every day, all day long watching TV or coloring. And he did this for days, because I literally could not get out of bed. I knew then I had to do something. I still have stains in my carpet from where he ate breakfast, lunch and at times dinner on the floor in my bedroom, while I ran from bed to bathroom and back again trying not to get sick all over everything in between. “I can’t keep doing this to him,” I told myself. You know that mom guilt. So, I made the call and took the medication.
Fast forward to those months when our baby girl was in and out of the hospital every two weeks until she had surgery at six months old on her little kidney’s. The mom guilt was oh so strong. “This is all my fault,” I kept telling myself. “If only I hadn’t take the medication.” “If only I had done this or not done that.” And I still question these things when we go to her yearly appointments and am reminded of her permanently damaged right kidney.
Fast Forward to that same precious girl, who is now three. She has multiple specialist appointments every year. And she had another surgery on her little body only on her eye this time. Again, that mom guilt creeps in saying, “this is my fault.”
My temper!
My temper. Oh that is one thing I am really working hard on. I really hate to yell at my children. And honestly, God bless them, they try a Mother’s patience. Anyone else been there?
But, blessed be, after the tenth time of “please get your blessed shoes on,” and they do not comply. Oh goodness, can you feel me on this one mama’s? The dragon mama comes out then, quickly followed by the mama guilt. Every single time.
Anyone else have to “tackle” and “wrestle” a small child into the car seat because you have to go, your hubby is in Mexico on a business trip, you are late and your child decides all of sudden he doesn’t want to go so he fights you with all he has? Again, just me? Oh, the mom guilt after I have yelled on that one.
The tears that have fallen in these moments. So many. Oh so many.
Let’s talk a second about the anxiety and the insecurities I see my child struggle with.
Let’s talk a second about the anxiety and the insecurities I see my child struggle with. They are the same that I have struggled with my whole life. The question, “did I do that,” springs to mind every time I see it. “Have I somehow passed this on to him?” Oh, the guilt mamas. Oh, that guilt.
Honestly mamas, I can’t tell you that you won’t ever experience the mom guilt.
Honestly mamas, I can’t tell you that you won’t ever experience the mom guilt. I don’t even know the answer of how to prevent it. But what I do know mamas is this, forgive yourself! Even if it is an unnecessary mom guilt. Even when it is perhaps something we could have done better.
When you have that moment of guilt, know that there are some things beyond your control and even not your fault, even though it feels like it. Like in the case of my daughter’s health struggles. Not my fault, but I sure still have all the feels like it is.
Know that we are all human! We are all mothers doing the absolute best we can and although we may make mistakes or our patience runs thin, forgive yourself! And then, love yourself for the mom you are and the mom you are striving to be.
The fact that you feel the mom guilt is a testament to the amazing mom you are. And mama, know that you are not alone! All of us moms are feeling the same way and yet we can also see the amazing mom you are. See it for yourself.
So, mama, forgive yourself!
So, mama, forgive yourself! Love yourself right where you are at! Get up and try again when you need to! Know that you are so very loved by those precious beings that you call your children! And know that they have already forgiven you!
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