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Out of the Shadows

Let’s pause for a minute and talk about the thing that no one wants to talk about. It is growing at an alarming rate every year and we need to stop whispering about it in corners or stop being afraid to discuss it at all. We need to face it head on for what it is, instead of pushing it into the shadows. It is time to shine a light on it, over and over again, so that we can continue to fight it, and may I hope, perhaps one day defeat it.

There are some people that are trying to make progress in shining the light on this topic but there are so many that still refuse to see it or talk about it. I even read somewhere that we shouldn’t write about it because no one wants to read about how sad they are. I literally shake my head at that, because that means so many people still just do not understand.

But, what isn’t seen is the pain.

People don’t understand that it isn’t about being sad. It is so much bigger than that. They don’t understand the profound struggle that it is and that sometimes there are tragic endings that occur because the struggle is so severe. And, since people don’t understand or don’t want to see it, we often hear things such as, “they were so happy” or “they had so many friends” or “I just don’t understand what could have happened”. But, what isn’t seen is the pain.

Some individuals may have a physical pain that they can no longer handle. But most have a pain of the heart and soul and they are afraid to talk about it. Some don’t even want to look at the pain, because of where the pain comes from. And there is often this fear of being ostracized or being made to feel like something is wrong with them.

When I was a child we didn’t talk about such things as depression, anxiety or any type of mental health struggles. It was a taboo topic in most circles and if you brought it up it was hushed into silence. And we couldn’t even think about the situations that had tragic endings.

So I wonder, why me?

I remember a time when I was a teenager that my struggles with depression were so severe that I stared suicide in the face on more than one occasion. That was such a lonely time for me because I was so afraid to reach out for help. I thank God that I am alive today to even write about it. I am not anyone special for having faced my demons and somehow found a way to continue with life. So I wonder, why me?

I wonder, because so many others have faced those same demons and had a tragic ending. And I tell myself often that we need to remember those people. We need to honor them for fighting, for as long as they did, in silence. Honor their courage in the fight they fought every day. But where their fight ended, we need to pick it up in their name and help others who are facing those same demons.

This is a real battle that so many do face or will face.

It is time that we shine the light of truth on the pain that others are experiencing. We need to change the conversation from whispers and avoidance, to speaking about it or shouting about it, until everyone hears and understands. This is a real battle that so many do face or will face. We need to make sure that people understand there is nothing wrong with themselves, or someone else, if they battle with depression or anxiety or any other mental health struggle, for a period in their life or for their whole life.

Mental health struggles and suicide have been pushed into the shadows for far too long and it is time to take it out of the shadows. Because when it is in the shadows that is where tragedy strikes. We need to reach out to our friends, our family members, our acquaintances or anyone else struggling and let them know that it is OK that they struggle.

People need to know that they are not alone. We need to pull them into the light. We need to let them know that it is OK to ask for help. We need to help them get help if need be. We need to show them the way.

Often there is a misunderstanding of how people are acting or how people present themselves in the world. Because of this, it is so important that we just, quite simply, show kindness towards others, even if we feel as though they have wronged us. The battles people face, may be winning the fight that day, and a simple act of kindness could be the one thing that helps turn the tide of that battle. We need to build one another up and support one another. We need to love one another, and we need to be willing to talk with one another about this.

Because if we leave it as is, we will continue to lose those who are losing their battle to it.

It is encouraging to see that there are some aspects of change, surrounding mental health struggles, from when I was child facing my demons, to now in my forties still facing those same demons at times. But there is still an overwhelming sense of judgement and shame surrounding mental illness. And it is so important that we continue to talk about this, continue to bring it out of the shadows. Because if we leave it as is, we will continue to lose those who are losing their battle to it.

So, let’s talk about it. Let’s fight the stigma that mental health struggles are bad or that it means there is something wrong with the person who struggles. Let’s stop passing judgement on those that struggle and show them love and kindness, and help them instead. Let’s continue to bring it out of the shadows as many times as it takes, so that perhaps one day we will no longer have tragic endings.

If you or someone you know is struggling or may attempt to harm themselves please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are open all the time and their to help! Don’t delay let’s start helping others and saving lives today, even your own, because your life matters!

The featured picture is of the author and taken by Jennifer Dillon. Thank you for the use of the picture for this article.

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