When I was a child, I dreamed of growing up and becoming a teacher. All through my high school days the plan was to go to college and get my degree in teaching. I wanted to major in elementary education and minor in history. But life happened and my dreams of going to college and becoming a teacher, by the time I was twenty-five, didn’t happen.
I remember traveling on a business trip for work when I was in my mid-twenties and I was standing in line for the ticket counter. A conversation with the woman behind me started with the usual, “are you traveling for work or pleasure.” “This line is longer than normal,” and so on. At one point the topic of conversation turned to my hope of going back to school to get my teaching degree. To this day I don’t remember how we even got on the topic, but I will never forget what she said. She told me, “You don’t want to do that. Go back to school if you want, and get your education, but I would stay away from becoming a teacher.”
I was shocked but I asked why she felt that way. She went on to explain that she had been a teacher, but it was the worst years of her life. Not because of the children. And not even because of the politics, she often had to battle, surrounding our education system, but because of the constant battle with parents. She said she could work with the confines of the politics or at least she often had a means to fight it, if it was unjust. And she could handle the crazy of a full classroom. But what she couldn’t handle any more, was the constant fight of trying to help children learn, but always having to battle parents to do it.
When did we forget that our children are not perfect and may make the wrong choices and do the wrong thing?
That conversation still plays in my mind today especially now that two of my four children are in school. And I wonder. When did parents and teachers become enemies? When did it go from a “we are all in this together” mentality to a “those teachers better do what I say even if my kid is in the wrong” mentality? When did we forget that our children are not perfect and may make the wrong choices and do the wrong thing? When did we go to war with our teachers?
Recently I had a meeting with the superintendent of my children’s school district, and I brought up the topic of, “how do we get back to supporting our teachers instead of constantly being at odds with them? And how do we get teachers from being so defensive if we ask simple questions or offer suggestions for change.”
I told her it is frustrating at times for a parent who will go to a teacher just to get more information and we are immediately met with a defensive attitude and sometimes an angry tone. I thought for sure we would come up with ways to get everyone to the table to talk about this subject of, no longer warring each other, but working together. But she very graciously said that this was not a topic that the schools or school district could start.
Change must be initiated by the parents and the community.
At first, I was frustrated because how can we start working together if they are not willing to meet, but then after thinking about it I realized, she was right. The change must be initiated by the parents and the community. Because ultimately the war against teachers and schools started with the parents. Now that may seem harsh but hear me out.
How many times have we heard a “story” or explanation of a poor grade from our children and gone marching in to meet with the teacher, hot tempered, thinking we have all the facts, but we don’t? Or, we are not willing to see all the facts, so we jump all in, Mother bear or Daddy Lion, ready to fight it out until we get what we want. If that parent is not you, then I applaud you. But, unfortunately, our teachers are met with that affront on a weekly and yet sometimes daily basis.
I would think that we should be willing to listen to what they have to say, without getting angry, because they may be right.
Our teachers shouldn’t be fearful of telling us parents the truth. I would think that we should be willing to listen to what they have to say, without getting angry, because they may be right. Shouldn’t it be, that if we do have a concern, we ask questions in a calm manner, and listen to what the teacher has to say, even if it is something we do not want to hear?
No one likes to hear that their children may have made the wrong choice or that they started the “fight” on the playground. Or that they simply did not do their homework and didn’t study, so that is why they are failing Math.
Now some of you may be reading this and thinking, but I have a right to stand up for my child. And I absolutely 100% agree with you. We as parents should always advocate for our children! Absolutely without a doubt! There are always exceptions to situations. And there are those teachers, principles and school board members that are out there in this world that shouldn’t be in those positions, so we need to take that stand and go all in, Mother bear or Daddy lion!
But I think we also need to reflect on our own behaviors. We need to make sure that how we are handling the situation is right. We can still advocate for our children by showing our children that when they make the wrong choice, there are consequences for those choices. Because that is part of raising good human beings who will learn the difference between right and wrong.
Our teachers today have a very difficult job! They are being asked to work under tremendous stress. They are facing the challenges of parents angrily calling them because their child is “perfect” and couldn’t have possibly done what the teacher said. Honestly though, why would they lie? What do they have to gain by telling us our child is failing at History and they need our help?
Teachers are facing challenges in the political realm that can affect their pay, classroom size and what they can teach. Because of that, they often face long hours and time away from their family. They are overworked and underpaid. And in this day in age, our teachers, are at times, being asked to put their lives on the line because of the prevalence of school shootings.
They often want to quit because they have to fight everyone just to teach our children.
They are put down by parents and sometimes the students. The respect we once had for teachers was evident in how we treated them, but now they face anger and harsh words that often make them feel bad and want to quit. They want to quit because they have to fight everyone just to teach our children.
Maybe we need to remember what it is our teachers are actually doing! They are spending their days giving our children the education they need to have a solid foundation for life. They are devoting their lives to the cause of our children’s education!
So, Mr. and Ms. Teacher, I apologize for my part in the war against teachers and I pledge to do my part in bringing about peace. And I ask that other parents join me in this fight. Let’s go out and Thank a teacher today! And be kind when we need to have conversations with them about our children.
And ultimately, wouldn’t it be better for our children?
Just some food for thought. Because peace sounds better than the alternative. And ultimately, wouldn’t it be better for our children?
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