We Need to do Better!

We need to do better! We need to do better for our children! This is the thought that keeps running through my mind over and over these days. In the realm, or world, of mental health or mental illness there has been an uptick of focus on this topic, but we still need to do better. We need to do better because there are so many that still suffer in silence. There are still so many, too many that fall through the cracks.

There have been tragedies in our community and the communities around us, and the communities are looking to the schools for the answers, but the answers are not in the schools alone. The answers need to come from the community. There is a time and a place for assistance at schools, but we as parents and our communities, need to also be doing our part. We need to better educate ourselves on what is mental illness and focus on the fact that not being OK, is OK, and that it is OK to ask for help. And then we need to communicate that with everyone around us, especially our children.

Our children are faced with dark times and hard concepts, that are perhaps worse than anything I faced, and most faced when we were children. Alice drills are commonplace. Questions of safety in our schools are asked at parent orientations at the beginning of each school year. The activities that our children participate in, while are beneficial for social development and the life lessons that they can learn, have grown into these monumental organizations within schools that require so much time and effort that the stress of that alone can be hard for some children. Then add the amount of homework these children face and the stress of school climbs even higher.

Please understand it is important for children to participate in the arts and sports and other activities for school. These activities can lead to great life lessons and develop children socially in a way they would not otherwise learn or develop. This is not meant to diminish or negate these activities in anyway, but simply highlight the fact that they can add stress.

So, we have Alice drills, we have activities that go late into the night and take all weekend and then we have mounds of homework and now we add social media and bullying in schools in the mix. The bullying of today is not the bullying of my childhood in the 80’s and 90’s. I was bullied, and it had a lasting and negative impact on me even into adulthood. But the bullying is far worse today.

The power children feel by wielding the social media weapon of saying whatever they think, even though it hurts others, is so detrimental to our children. It is detrimental to the children wielding the weapon and far more detrimental to the person or child receiving the blow of that weapon. The lack of solid relationships being built face to face, are being replaced with relationships on social media alone, and these relationships are not real. It is any wonder why our children are not faced with even more demons then they already are.

It is not the intention of this article to minimize the mental health struggles that people of all ages face. For mental health affects all types of people, of all ages. Mental health struggles like depression and anxiety are on the rise in all age groups. People grow tired of facing the pain alone, but society has not quite accepted that it is OK to talk about it, so many suffer alone. Until it is too late. On average it takes a single person 10 years to reach out for help. For many of our children that is well into adulthood which causes them to flounder and feel lost for far too long.

I propose we better educate ourselves on mental health. I propose we reach out to those that are struggling and say, it’s OK! I propose we bridge the gap between schools and communities and work together as a whole to support our children. I propose we as parents challenge the powers that be, whether it be our leaders in Washington or here at home, and challenge the current standards in the special needs and mental health arena of our schools and help find the right solutions. We need to help discover ways to provide the proper funding and proper staff so that the school mental health related concerns can be addressed properly and consistently at the beginning signs of mental health struggles no matter the age, instead of waiting for the worst to happen to implement the proper channels of help.

I propose we as parents advocate for our children by realizing that mental health is just as important a topic to discuss as any other health topic, and that it is not bad. We should be able to discuss it as freely as we would discuss having diabetes. I propose we have the appropriate discussions with our children at home, in the community and at school about this very real illness and how to help combat it.

I propose we stop waiting until the situations escalate and the mental health struggles become too great a burden for our children to carry so they take drastic measures to cry out for help or worse. I propose we start taking preventative action and start helping our children at the very first signs of mental illness, instead of waiting until it becomes to late. I propose we find the right tools and the right means to consistently help our children navigate the struggles associated with mental illness/mental health.

We must ask ourselves, how many less “fires” would we have to put out? How many situations could we prevent? How many lives could be changed? How many children would grow into adults with better tools to help manage their mental health? How many children could we save? If we just did better!

We need to do better!

Makeitok.org, chilltochange.org, NAMI, Mental Health America, as well as other great organizations, are wanting to work with us to help educate our community to help our children and the adults in our lives that struggle with mental illness. And to change the Stigma surrounding mental health! Let’s do better!

If you or someone you love needs help or is contemplating death by suicide, please reach out to the below!

Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 (En Español – 1-888-628-9454)

The Trevor Project (LGBTQ Crisis and Suicide Hotline) – 866-488-7386

Veterans Crisis Line – 1-800-273-8255

Teens Crisis Line – 310-855-4673 or 800-TLC-TEEN (800-852-8336)